Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You ruined the universe
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
