how can u be prego again
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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