I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Randomize
