I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
