Sry I called you an 8
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Randomize
