your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I puked a lego.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
