I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
