it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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