craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
