high people should be assigned attendants
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
