Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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