I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We have started to decorate penises.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
