My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize