As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my shit smells like andre
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
wow bdsm is so cute
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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