yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
