Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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