I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize