My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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