Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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