I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
ttyl tear gas
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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