Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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