My first STD was from a foam party
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
