No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I could fuck to npr.
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