I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
only if we run a train.
done.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize