How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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