Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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