im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
