Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
