"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
