i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
There are leaves in my underwear?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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