he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just tell him i said nine months
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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