literally had 100 drinks last night.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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