Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
