I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
