adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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