she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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