We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
