Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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