I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
