you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
