At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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