shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
