found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
