Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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