there's paper in my vomit.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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