all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
