First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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