I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
