hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
