we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
