No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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