In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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