I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
