meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
