so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
