The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
