I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
