I wanna bring you to show and tell
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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