Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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