jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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