Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We have so much sex to catch up on
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
