it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
