Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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